Decorating The Nursery

Paul and I had an exciting day today, getting ready for our new arrivals. We thought long and hard about pets, and settled on leopard geckos, as Paul fell madly in love with this little chap back in September:


We've been to Pets-Or-Meat and bought the terrarium and some of the other kit. Doesn't it look good? We'll be going back next Saturday to get the geckos themselves.


The substrate will go in soon (we're just seeing if we can get the temperature up to optimum with the heat rock, but I expect we'll need a heat mat too), and some bits and pieces for them to climb on. We've checked out all the food we need to get, along with the food for the food, and have a small arsenal of ungents ready to deal with any veterinary eventuality.

We saw one of the prospective pets passed out in her water dish today. Hope it was nice and cool for her!

The Word "Penis"

Today I had to teach one of my classes about sexual characteristics. It involved mentioning the word "penis". This turned out to be a huge problem. See, apparently the word "penis" is embarrassing, and represents a filthy and depraved organ of the body. Previously rather brazen young men and women were reduced to giggling children, one of which was so appalled by the mention of the word "penis" that she covered her face with her hands. I found myself conjuring the spirit of my mother-in-law (a primary school teacher) and joyfully trilling to the class: "Penis is not a dirty word!!"

Doesn't help matters that when I try to search for good, copyright-free images to use to teach students reproductive anatomy, all the useful sites are blocked by Websense at work for being pornographic, e.g.:


Can't access that at work. I wonder if that means I'm not allowed to draw the diagram freehand on the whiteboard for the students either?

This strange double standard that we have though: these teenagers are probably more worldly and more exposed to sex and sexuality than ever before, and yet they cannot cope with a simple anatomical word. Some of them are old enough to marry, vote, buy alcohol and be killed in Afghanistan, but the word "penis" renders them incapacitated with the giggles for several minutes at a time.

My local GP practice has a nurse, who refers to a urine sample as "a tinkle" and a cervical smear test as "rude stuff". I think my greatest fear for my students is that, despite my efforts, they will become at best coy medical professionals who embarrass their patients with playground terminology (like my nurse), and at worse rather uninformed adults whose own shame could lead to ignorance (and probably far too many babies for them to cope with).

Suppose the religious right would blame it all on snakes, women and apples, but I wish we could all get over the idea that penises and vaginas are something dirty that must never be discussed even within the confines of a biology lab.

What do you think? Am I finally turning into my too-much-information high school biology teacher, who advocated eating placentas and carried around a stick of celery in her labcoat pocket?

Looking Back, Looking Forward

With just under 10 hours of 2009 left, I suppose it's time I reflected on the year that has passed. All things considered, I don't wish to ever repeat the year. Although there were some high points, the private heartache I've had to deal with nearly broke me. Some were privy to it, and to those of you who showed love, support and a nearly limitless capacity to buy me beer, I am eternally grateful.

On a more uplifting note, 2009 was the year I finally figured out my place in the universe. Back in February, the local further education college was advertising for biology lecturers and I applied, not expecting to get interviewed. I actually did get interviewed, but did not get the position. In the meantime I took 10 days off to help out a UCL fieldtrip to Ainsa, northern Spain, by driving one of the minivans. My role was as a driver rather than demonstrator, but I couldn't resist helping out one group who were logging a stream section.


A postdoc overheard me and asked me if I was a teacher, and then said I had excellent teaching technique and a very clear way of explaining concepts and getting the students to investigate things on their own initiative. It was something I dismissed initially, but over the next month or so I mulled over it.

One day in May, out of the blue, I got a call from the FE college - they wanted to offer me a job. I accepted on the spot. I started in August, initially part-time, and I seem to have hit the ground running. The students like me and I like them. I consider myself pretty liberal, but I'm finding prejudices I didn't even know I had being knocked out of the water. I have one student who wants to be a palaeontologist because of me, and another who will, in a couple of days' time, know whether they've got into Cambridge University. A student who arrived in my class reluctant to smile actually laughed two weeks before Christmas.


I have a long way to go - I'm only four months into a two-year teaching qualification. I have some students who I just cannot see eye-to-eye with. I'm flying by the seat of my pants, and I've done a very dangerous thing - I've shown a degree of competence and IT literacy. This has served to give me more responsibility, more paperwork and more teaching hours.

I'm doomed!

Teaching and lecturing is by far the best thing I have ever done with my life. It is the most rewarding job I have had, and four out of five days it doesn't really feel like I'm "at work". I'm not going to make lots of new year's resolutions, but if I just say that I am going to work damn hard to be the best teacher I can be, and if everything I do works towards that, then I will end 2010 with a smile on my face.

Fractal Christmas Dinner

I did it. I finally got to try a Romanesco broccoli!


Paul and I had it with our roast pheasant for Christmas dinner. It does taste very similar to a cross between regular broccoli and cauliflower. And the fractal effect is even more noticeable with the Romanesco than it is with cauliflower or broccoli.

They are expensive to buy - about twice the price of regular broccoli at our local farm shop. But fortunately we have an allotment now, so we can grow our own!

Anyone else have any cool science food for Christmas dinner?

Things I Learned From My Students #2: Christmas 2009

Don't ask me how, but I survived the first term of teaching. And I managed to make enough of an impression to be asked to coordinate a new Level 1 (pre-GCSE) science course next term. I'll be branching out from Biology to teach general science (scientific units, method, how to draw apparatus etc) and a bit of Physics (space travel!), which I will thoroughly enjoy! Anyway, on with this half term's things I learned...

1. Teenage boys are very often much better behaved than teenage girls.
   
2. Not only does the word "dinosaur" have numerous different spellings, but my own name does too.
   
3. There are some young people who have never heard of LOLcats.
   
4. Younger students can easily be controlled by pointing to the lab skeleton and commenting that it was all that was left of the last student to answer me back.
   
5. Hermaphrodites are the most fascinating subject ever.
   
6. This is closely followed by brains.
   
7. The precipitation on the day of the quadrat-throwing fieldwork is inversely proportional to the uptake of students for A-Level Biology.
   
8. Some students know the most amazing facts, such as the ins and outs of the Battle of Thermopylae and the evolutionary history of the coelacanth (same student)!
   
9. Kids of any age love playing "hangman" with new words.
   
10. Dance music sounds just as dire in Korean as it does in English.
    
11. Seeing my students get interviews and offers at universities fills me with more pride than I ever knew I was capable of.
    
12. All the scientific literacy I embed in their brains will not stop them from genuinely believing the world will end in 2012.
    
13. Apparently I get locked in the prep room overnight and at weekends.
    
14. I am the only Biology lecturer who can identify blowflies.
    
15. No teacher can compete with snow falling outside the lab window.
    
16. It's probably just best if I don't tell the kids what is in haggis.

Umm?

You may remember that I have one or two "issues" with the official textbook available for GCSE Science. Now, being a biology lecturer, all my stuff is at the front of the book, ahead of chemistry and physics (I like to kid myself that it's not just an alphabetical order...). So I rarely have cause to flick through the back of the book. Until I met with one of my private tutees last week...


A fairly benign question, yes? You may need to click through to read the text. All very relevant, could link all three disciplines, highlights a current issue. Good good. But then you look at the next page...


See what they did there? It's Jay and Silent Bob in a GCSE textbook!! Clerks is older than some of the students! Who on Earth under the age of 18 is actually aware of Jay and Silent Bob? Why isn't Silent Bob silent? And does anyone else think that the average GCSE science lesson could be improved by the addition of Jay's rap:


Your thoughts please. And thank you everyone who offered advice on good programmes for my prospective palaeontology student, you've been immensely helpful.

Happy Origin Day!

On this day 150 years ago, Charles Darwin's most famous book, "On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection" was published.

To "celebrate" this occasion I spent five minutes trying to deflect an argument from a colleague I shall charitably refer to as being "uninformed" telling me that "Darwin was wrong". There is a time and a place to go all Dawkins on someone's ass, and honestly that moment was not it. But a later rant to a fellow Biology lecturer helped a great deal, I can tell you!

It's also Zach's birthday, so you should go over there and wish him many happy returns.

Suggested University Courses

Here's a question for the numerous British university-based readers for this blog. I am absolutely tickled because one of my students wants to study palaeontology at university. And it's because of me. Is that not the best thing ever?

So, to give my new favourite student the best chances, I'm helping out by suggesting a few universities to apply to. Said student is doing Biology A-level but not Chemistry or Maths. This probably excludes some of the big Natural Sciences programmes (and if I recall correctly the closing date for Oxbridge applications has already passed).

My thoughts are that he would be well suited to a straight Palaeobiology degree: Portsmouth and Birmingham look ace. Royal Holloway's Geology & Biology degree is also a good bet too.

But this is where I get stuck. He could do with 5-6 prospective universities, so more are needed! I don't think a pure Geology degree is right for him, no matter how much Dinosaurology he might be able to do. So I'm thinking of suggesting some Zoology or Biology programmes with good links with vert palaeo. I just don't have a clue which universities might offer them! Glasgow? Bristol? Birkbeck as a full-time student?

All suggestions appreciated!

End Of An Era

I learned last night that Professor Barrie Rickards, expert graptolite researcher, has died at the age of 71. It was reported this morning on PaleoNet, the palaeontology listserve.

My year group affectionately named him Darth Rickards, Dark Lord of the Schist. I recall sitting in a stream section somewhere in the Howgill Fells in the summer of 1999 trying to find graptolites with my fellow geology students (and nursing the mother of all hangovers), led by an ever-enthusiastic Barrie in his huge full-length wax coat.

Barrie also taught me everything I know about palaeobotany. And I wish, I wish, I had paid more attention in his classes.

The State Of The Lecturer, 4th November

It's finally shaping up to be wintery here. Well, wintery by Soft Southern Nancy standards anyway. A chill in the air, blustery winds and crisp mornings to dry out soggy leaves.

For me, the first week of November heralds the official start of the Christmas countdown (I refuse to think about the C-word until this time). I refer, of course, to the arrival of the Starbucks Red Cups, and in particular, that nectar of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - the eggnog latte.


My first eggnog latte of the season, and I was salivating like Pavlov's dogs as I took this photo...

Today's high #1 - actually getting one of the students (who, whilst he is not wholly feckless could certainly do with having a little more in the way of feck) interested in malacology. I nearly fainted!

Today's high #2 - mentioning the word "vagina" several times in the course of my A2 class about epithelial cells and managing to not induce giggles in the teenagers. Truly I have become a biology teacher.

Today's low - buying the new Bon Jovi album on CD and then realising I had nothing to play it on, so high-tech is our home life.