MYRSFO: A2 Biology

By A2, the students should be able to deal with some quite high-level research, and read some straightforward scientific papers. They have probably carried out some ecological fieldwork, so are used to the particular issues raised by sample size, data collection, and trying to do science in horizontal rain (why there isn't more uptake for earth science degrees, I do not know).

AQA
Unit BIOL4

• Succession from pioneer species to climax community
  
• At each stage in succession, certain species may be recognised which change the environment so that it becomes more suitable for other species
  
• The changes in the abiotic environment result in a less hostile environment and changing diversity
  
• Species exist as one or more populations
  
• The concepts of gene pool and allele frequency
  
• The Hardy-Weinberg principle. The conditions under which the principle applies
  
• Differential reproductive success and its effect on the allele frequency within a gene pool
  
• Directional and stabilising selection

CCEA
Unit A2.1
Students should be able to:

• Understand how populations grow
  
• Distinguish between r- and K-selected species
  
• Understand the ways in which populations may interact

Unit A2.2

Students should be able to:

• Understand the concept of the gene pool
  
• Understand the Hardy-Weinberg equation and apply it to calculate allele and genotype frequencies in an outbreeding population
  
• Understand selection and its contribution to the maintenance of polymorphic populations and evolutionary change in populations
  
• Understand the concept of species and the process of speciation

Edexcel
Unit 4
Students will be assessed on their ability to:

• Describe the concept of succession to a climax community
  
• Describe how evolution (a change in the allele frequency) can come about through gene mutation and natural selection
  
• Explain how reproductive isolation can lead to speciation
  
• Describe the role of the scientific community in validating new evidence (including molecular biology, eg DNA, proteomics) supporting the accepted scientific theory of evolution (scientific journals, the peer review process, scientific conferences)
  
• Describe how DNA profiling is used for identification and determining genetic relationships between organisms (plants and animals)

OCR
Unit F215
Candidates should be able to:

• explain why variation is essential in selection
  
• use the Hardy–Weinberg principle to calculate allele frequencies in populations
  
• explain, with examples, how environmental factors can act as stabilising or evolutionary forces of natural selection
  
• explain how genetic drift can cause large changes in small populations
  
• explain the role of isolating mechanisms in the evolution of new species, with reference to ecological (geographic), seasonal (temporal) and reproductive mechanisms
  
• explain the significance of the various concepts of the species, with reference to the biological species concept and the phylogenetic (cladistic/evolutionary) species concept
  
• explain, with examples, the terms interspecific and intraspecific competition

WJEC/CBAC
Unit BY5

• Genetic and environmental factors produce variation between individuals
  
• Variation may be continuous and discontinuous; heritable and nonheritable. Inter and intra-specific competition for breeding success and survival
  
• Selective agencies (e.g. supply of food, breeding sites, climate). The gene pool and genetic drift
  
• Selection can change the frequency of alleles in a population
  
• Isolation and speciation
  
• Separation of populations by geographical, behavioural, morphological seasonal and other isolation mechanisms. Hybrid sterility
  
• Darwin's theory of evolution that existing species have arisen through modification of ancestral species by natural selection
  
• Principles of succession as illustrated by the change from bare rock to woodland
  
• Use of terms primary and secondary succession, pioneers, sere and climax community

A2 Biology is much more concerned with ecology, speciation and reproductive isolation. Some new examples of evidence for speciation, co-evolution of parasites, or even a tame scientist with a collection of cichlid fish, will go down very well indeed.

MYRSFO: AS Biology

After the somewhat vague and bewildering GCSE specifications, we settle down a little with the post-compulsory qualifications. A-Level is divided into two: AS and A2. It seems natural to stick with this division here, and to go with AS Biology first.

AQA
Unit BIOL 2

• Candidates should be able to analyse and interpret data relating to interspecific and intraspecific variation
  
• Candidates should appreciate the tentative nature of any conclusions that can be drawn relating to the causes of variation
  
• The principles and importance of taxonomy
  
• Classification systems consist of a hierarchy in which groups are contained within larger composite groups and there is no overlap
  
• The phylogenetic groups are based on patterns of evolutionary history
  
• A species may be defined in terms of observable similarities and the ability to produce fertile offspring
  
• One hierarchy comprises Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species
  
• Candidates should be able to appreciate the difficulties of defining species and the tentative nature of classifying organisms as distinct species
  
• Courtship behaviour as a necessary precursor to successful mating. The role of courtship in species recognition
  
• An index of diversity describes the relationship between the number of species and the number of individuals in a community

CCEA
Unit AS.2
Students should be able to:

• Understand that organisms are adapted to their environment
  
• Understand that ecological factors have an influence on the distribution of organisms
  
• Understand the role of selection in maintaining the adaptiveness of populations of organisms in their environment
  
• Understand that biodiversity involves variation among living organisms at all levels of biological organisation
  
• Measure species diversity and appreciate that genetic diversity can be measured
  
• Understand the principle of taxonomy
  
• Understand the concept of the species
  
• Understand the other taxa within which species can be grouped
  
• Understand phylogenetic taxonomy as a means of classifying sets of species according to ancestral relationships
  
• Appreciate the five kingdom system of classification

Edexcel
Unit 2
Students will be assessed on their ability to:

• Explain the terms biodiversity and endemism and describe how biodiversity can be measured within a habitat using species richness and within a species using genetic diversity, e.g. variety of alleles in a gene pool
  
• Describe the concept of niche and discuss examples of adaptation of organisms to their environment (behavioural, physiological and anatomical)
  
• Describe how natural selection can lead to adaptation and evolution
  
• Discuss the process and importance of critical evaluation of new data by the scientific community, which leads to new taxonomic groupings (i.e. three domains based on molecular phylogeny)
  
• Discuss and evaluate the methods used by zoos and seedbanks in the conservation of endangered species and their genetic diversity (e.g. scientific research, captive breeding programmes, reintroduction programmes and education)

OCR
Unit F212
Candidates should be able to:

• define the terms species, habitat and biodiversity
  
• explain how biodiversity may be considered at different levels; habitat, species and genetic
  
• define the terms classification, phylogeny and taxonomy
  
• explain the relationship between classification and phylogeny
  
• outline the binomial system of nomenclature and the use of scientific (Latin) names for species
  
• discuss the fact that classification systems were based originally on observable features but more recent approaches draw on a wider range of evidence to clarify relationships between organisms, including molecular evidence
  
• define the term variation
  
• discuss the fact that variation occurs within as well as between species
  
• describe the differences between continuous and discontinuous variation, using examples of a range of characteristics found in plants, animals and microorganisms
  
• explain both genetic and environmental causes of variation
  
• outline the behavioural, physiological and anatomical (structural) adaptations of organisms to their environments
  
• explain the consequences of the four observations made by Darwin in proposing his theory of natural selection
  
• define the term speciation
  
• discuss the evidence supporting the theory of evolution, with reference to fossil, DNA and molecular evidence
  
• outline how variation, adaptation and selection are major components of evolution
  
• discuss why the evolution of pesticide resistance in insects and drug resistance in microorganisms has implications for humans

WJEC/CBAC
Unit BY2
All organisms are related through their evolutionary history:

• Biodiversity is the number of different organisms on the planet. Biodiversity varies spatially and over time
  
• Biodiversity has been generated through natural selection and adaptation over millions of years. Adaptive radiation e.g. Darwin’s finches on the Galapagos
  
• Organisms are classified into groups based on their evolutionary relationships. Classification places organisms into discrete and hierarchical groups with other closely related species. The need for classification and its tentative nature. Characteristic features of Kingdoms: Prokaryotae, Protoctista, Plantae, Fungi, Animalia
  
• Animal biodiversity is classified into over 20 major phyla and several minor ones with each phylum containing organisms based on a basic blueprint. Basic features of: Annelids, Arthropods, Chordates. Arthropods are subdivided into four groups (details not required). Some phyla contain many more species than others
  
• Physical features and biochemical methods can be used to assess the relatedness of organisms. DNA ‘genetic fingerprinting’ and enzyme studies show relatedness without the problem of morphological convergence
  
• All organisms are named according to the Binomial system. The species concept

At AS, OCR seems to be the most comprehensive (although many of the exam boards make up for it at A2). AS is mostly concerned with biodiversity and natural selection - more complex ideas of speciation are to be left until A2. Some boards mention phylogenies (morphological and molecular) at this stage, but you'll find others wait to A2. I particularly like WJEC's statement for the module, that "all organisms are related through their evolutionary history".

MYRSFO: GCSE Biology

Here are the relevant parts of the GCSE specifications for evolutionary palaeobiology. GCSE Chemistry contains some aspects of climate change, and GCSE Physics has some astrobiology and the evolution of our atmosphere, but this'd be a humongous post if I included all that.

AQA
Unit B1
Candidates should use their skills, knowledge and understanding of how science works:

• to suggest how organisms are adapted to the conditions in which they live
  
• to suggest the factors for which organisms are competing in a given habitat
  
• to suggest reasons for the distribution of animals or plants in a particular habitat
  
• to suggest reasons why scientists cannot be certain about how life began on Earth
  
• to interpret evidence relating to evolutionary theory
  
• to suggest reasons why Darwin’s theory of natural selection was only gradually accepted
  
• to identify the differences between Darwin’s theory of evolution and conflicting theories [Yes, this does mean they have to look at Lamarckism...]
  
• to suggest reasons for the different theories

There really isn't much more about evolution. I'm not a fan of AQA, either at GCSE or at A-Level. The GCSE course does not really deal in depth with anything (although GCSE Chemistry has a pleasing amount of geology in it), and the A-Level exams are an exercise in obfuscation (you may remember some outcry about the infamous "shrews" paper of January 2010.

CCEA
Pupils should:

• learn that living organisms are adapted to survive in the environment, for example, adaptations to life on land, and in water
  
• understand how variation and selection may lead to evolution or extinction, including:
  - natural selection as variation within phenotypes and competition for resources leading to differential survival
  - the implications of natural selection for the concept of evolution as a continuing process

Of all the boards, this has the least evolutionary content. The role of the fossil record as evidence for evolution is not on the Northern Ireland Programme of Study, whereas it is for England and Wales. This is disappointing, but not surprising. The students are, however, expected to be able to identify and classify a large number of plants, animals and fungi, so with any luck they should have good taxonomical knowledge.

Edexcel
Unit B1
Students will be assessed on their ability to:

• describe how organisms in an ecosystem compete with each other for resources
  
• explain population data in terms of predator-prey interdependence and intra-species competition
  
• demonstrate an understanding of how computer models can be used to study populations, and show an awareness of the advantages and disadvantages of these models compared with real data
  
• demonstrate an understanding of the principles of natural selection, to include:
  - how individuals within a species can have characteristics that promote more successful reproduction (survival of the fittest)
  - how, over generations, the effects of natural selection result in changes within species and the formation of new species from genetic variants or mutants that are better adapted to their environment
  - how species that are less well-adapted to a changing environment can become extinct
  
• explain how fossils provide evidence for evolution
  
• discuss why Charles Darwin experienced difficulty in getting his theory of evolution through natural selection accepted by the scientific community in the 19th century
  
• explain the principles of classifying organisms and the difficulties encountered in attempting to do so, as illustrated by the five kingdoms, the use of phylum, class, order, family, genus, species and the main characteristics of the five vertebrate groups

Unit B2
Students will be assessed on their ability to:

• explore the principles of interdependence, adaptation, competition and predation and explain how these factors influence the distribution and population sizes of organisms in a given terrestrial or aquatic environment
  
• interpret data on environmental change
  
• describe the special nature of some extreme environments, notably deep sea volcanic vents, the Antarctic and high altitudes

Unit B3
At the end of this unit students will be able to describe and explain the following statements and carry out the tasks indicated:

• vertebrate herbivores may feed in large groups or herds, and they may do so for protection in numbers. This is a successful evolutionary strategy, even though some members of the herd may be killed
  
• some animals, in particular birds and mammals, have developed special behaviours for the rearing of young, since they display parental care
  
• parental care is a successful evolutionary strategy; although it involves risk to the parents, it can increase the chances of survival of the parental genes

I like the final section that deals with behaviour and ethology, but it does rather skirt over evolution - it's something that can be covered in a double period if the teacher feels like it.

OCR
Module B3

• recall that the many different species of living things on Earth (and many species that are now extinct) evolved from very simple living things
  
• recall that life on Earth began about 3500 million years ago
  
• understand that evidence for evolution is provided by fossils and from analysis of similarities and differences in DNA of organisms
  
• recall that the first living things developed from molecules that could copy
  themselves
  
• understand that these molecules were produced by the conditions on Earth at that time, or may have come from elsewhere
  
• recall that evolution happens due to natural selection
  
• understand the process of natural selection in terms of variation, competition, increased chance of survival and reproduction, and increased number of individuals displaying certain characteristics in later generations
  
• understand that variation is caused by both environment and genes, but only genetic variation can be passed on
  
• explain the difference between natural selection and selective breeding
  
• interpret data on changes in a species in terms of natural selection
  
• recall that changes can occur in genes (mutations)
  
• understand that mutated genes in sex cells can be passed on to offspring and may occasionally produce new characteristics
  
• understand that the combined effect of mutations, environmental changes and natural selection can produce new species
  
• understand that if the conditions on Earth had, at any stage, been different from what they actually were, evolution by natural selection could have produced different results
  
• when provided with information about alternative views on the origin of life on Earth, or the evolutionary process:
  - can identify statements which are data and statements which are (all or part of) an explanation
  - can recognise data or observations that are accounted for by, (or conflict with), an explanation
  - can identify imagination and creativity in the development of an explanation
  - can justify accepting or rejecting a proposed explanation on the grounds that it accounts for observations; and/or provides an explanation that links things previously thought to be unrelated;
  -can identify a scientific question for which there is not yet an agreed answer and suggest a reason why
  - can suggest plausible reasons why scientists involved in a scientific event or issue disagree(d)
  - can suggest reasons for scientists’ reluctance to give up an accepted explanation when new data appear to conflict with it
  
• recall that the evolution of a larger brain gave some early humans a better chance of survival
  
• understand human evolution in terms of a common ancestor, divergence of hominid species, extinction of all but one of these species
  
• when provided with additional information about human evolution, can draw valid conclusions about the implications of given data for a given theory, for example:
  - recognises that an observation that agrees with a prediction (derived from an explanation) increases confidence in the explanation but does not prove it is correct
  - recognises that an observation that disagrees with a prediction (derived from an explanation) indicates that either the observation or the prediction is wrong, and that this may decrease our confidence in the explanation
  
• understand that a rapid change in the environment may cause a species to become extinct, for example, if:
  - the environmental conditions change
  - a new species that is a competitor, predator or disease organism of that species is introduced
  - another organism in its food web becomes extinct
  - understand that species have become extinct (or are in danger of becoming extinct) and that this is likely to be due to human activity;
  
• recall two examples of modern extinctions caused by direct human activity, and two caused by indirect human activity

The real issue I have with OCR is that they are still pussyfooting around the issue that evolution may not be true. I'd like to see the chemists having to hedge their teaching about collision theory on the grounds that, while there is a lot of evidence, this does not prove that collision theory is true and that there may be an alternative explanation that allows people to continue worshipping their invisible sky fairy without questioning their belief that Homo sapiens is different in some way...

WJEC/CBAC
Biology 1
Candidates should:

• know that organisms that have similar features and characteristics can be classified together in a logical way. Understand the need for a scientific system for identification and scientific as opposed to 'common' names.
  
• use local first and/or second hand data/ICT simulation to compare the variety of organisms which live in particular habitats, and investigate how the organisms in an area are affected by other organisms
  
• explore information about the morphological adaptations shown by organisms which enable them to survive in their environment
  
• understand that new genes result from changes, mutations, in existing genes and that mutations occur naturally at random. Mutations may be beneficial or harmful and are increased by exposure to radiation and some toxic chemicals
  
• variation is the basis of evolution
  
• examine evidence and interpret data about how organisms and species have changed over time. Suggest reasons why species may become extinct
  
• consider how individuals with characteristics adapted to their environment are more likely to survive and breed successfully. Consider the uses and limitations of modelling to illustrate the effect of camouflage colouring in prey and predator relationships
  
• know that the genes which have enabled these better adapted individuals to survive are then passed on to the next generation. This is natural selection
  
• consider the process of data collection, creative interpretation and deduction that lead Charles Darwin to propose the theory of evolution. Discuss the controversy surrounding the acceptance of the theory. Discuss evidence that evolution is ongoing such as data on Warfarin resistance in rats

This isn't too bad, but Edexcel and OCR still show more evolution discussion. So some examination boards are rather detailed when discussing evolution, extinction and adaptations. Speciation is, however, skirted around at best and actively ignored at worst. It's worth remembering when pitching outreach to these students, that only the CCEA require their students to know the major phyla and groups within the vertebrates, and I doubt even my current A2 students would know what a bryophyte was if I smacked them about the head with one. New species are not going to be very exciting for this age group (unless it's a big toothy dinosaur), but any discovery that demonstrates adaptation, new observations of behaviour, or perhaps transitional forms/two new gaps in the fossil record, might be worth pitching to a GCSE group.

Making Your Research Suitable For Outreach

Last Tuesday I was able to catch up with good friend Dave Hone of the Archosaur Musings blog. He mentioned that grant application forms are more frequently asking (nay, demanding?) applicants to demonstrate how they will engage in outreach relating to the specific research project for which they are applying for funding, something he later posted about on his blog.

Dave said it was no simple task, given the complexity and perhaps obscurity of [insert name of Dave's project here]. Nonsense! said I. And I grabbed a copy of the A2 Biology textbook for my exam board and shoved the pages about evolution, speciation and adaptation in his face. What came out of that discussion was that a) very few researchers have a scoobies what criteria are examined in high school qualifications, b) knowing this would certainly make grant applications a little easier, and c) it would be awesome if a fantastic, selfless and damn sexy lecturer-blogger could put together the details. They weren't available, so I said I'd do it.

Of course, this will be of absolutely zero interest to any researchers outside of the UK, and for now this will be simply those assessment criteria relevant to evolution, ecology and palaeontology. If there are sufficient requests from readers for other fields (e.g. biochemistry, physiology, inverts etc) then make them known.

There are three English examining boards: Edexcel, OCR and AQA. Additionally, there is one Welsh board, WJEC/CBAC and a Northern Irish board, CCEA. All five of these offer GCSEs, sat at age 16, and A-Levels, sat at age 18. There are other qualifications, such as baccalaureates and BTECs, but they are not as common, nor, have I found, is there as much opportunity for the discussion of evolution and palaeontology. There is also a Scottish examining board, SQA, of which the most common qualifications are Standard Grades and Highers. I'll try to tackle SQA as well, with the caveat that I am not as familiar with these examinations as I am with GCSE and A-Level.

Rather than looking at each board individually, I intend to divide as follows:

• GCSEs
  
• Advanced Supplementary (AS) Level
  
• Advanced (A2) Level
  
• Scottish qualifications

When I've finished each, I'll update the links.

F&%@ 2010, Roll On 2011

One of the best hashtags I've seen on Twitter recently has been #fuck2010. I'll go with that. What a shitter of a year, eh? On the domestic front, our landlord has seemingly tried to kill us twice, tried to evict us once, and been an absolute arse 365 times by virtue of waking up each morning. Paul was made redundant in February, and has only recently managed to find employment (working at the same college as me - yay!).

We have lost three geckos that we had hoped to have for a good 10 years at least. As I type, Paul is building a new vivarium (the "jab-itat") for Jabba, and hoping that we will reach the end of 2011 with the same gecko we started with.


In October, our friend and neighbour Kel died. The world is quieter and less liberal, and Man Utd has lost its most ardent fan. We are just two of many who will miss him terribly.

On a more positive note, I continue to adore lecturing (but loathe the admin - especially some stuff I simply will not talk about publicly). My students mean the world to me, but if I ever told them that it'd go to their heads. One student is now at Portsmouth University studying palaeobiology, and he wouldn't have been there if I hadn't been his teacher. One of my tutees knows another of my old A2 students, and he apparently says I'm the best teacher he ever had. So maybe I have some talent for this after all.

What does 2011 hold? I will finish my PGCE in June, and then the world (of FE) is my oyster. My second A2 class will leave for university, and the BTEC students I've taught for two years will head on too. Don't tell them, but I will cry like a baby when they go.

Apart from a long weekend in Norfolk, I have not had a holiday in nearly two years. And we have not been abroad since October 2008. With the financial constraints of the past year, even travelling in the UK has been difficult, and we've barely been more than 20 miles from home all year. So this photo is my new year's resolution:


This is where I want to be at some point in 2011. Here's to a better year next year.

Snowbound In Isleworth

The timing of the British weather is impeccable. We couldn't have had a snow day earlier in the week to give us all an early Christmas holiday, oh no. It started snowing mid-morning on the last day of term, just in time for us to struggle to get to our end-of-year departmental lunch, and then to make trying to enjoy the first day of the holidays a treacherous activity. The little darlings out shopping on Hounslow High Street had successfully turned said pedestrianised road into an impromptu ice rink, and I certainly would not have appreciated a broken wrist or ankle to last me the holidays...


It does look pretty though, and out where we live it was lovely crunchy snow, and perfect for trudging down to the local café for a Full English. And I was able to capture a multi-species trackway in the back garden:


That's (from left to right) Turdus merula, Vulpes vulpes and Homo sapiens, with a bicycle thrown in for good measure.

Heathrow Airport is absolutely fubared at the moment. Makes for a quiet time for us but a rubbish time for everyone trying to get home for Christmas.

Farewell To Another Professor

Today I received my copy of GeoCam, the alumni magazine for the Dept of Earth Sciences at the University of Cambridge. And my heart sank when I read that on 16th September of this year Professor Tjeerd Van Andel died. He was one of my lecturers for the module on climatology I studied in my third year at Cambridge, and taught the first year sedimentology course.

He told us about the North Atlantic Conveyor, about ocean currents and thermohaline circulation. We learned about CCDs and ACDs, and I got to take out my frustrations on a LOT of foraminifera. But most memorable was the lecture he gave at the end of Lent term in our first year. It was a slide show of his work aboard Alvin, the deep-sea submersible. Professor Van Andel was the first person to ever see the weird and wonderful animals living around the deep-sea hydrothermal vents.

Hydrothermal vents are on the GCSE biology specification, in the context of adaptations to extreme environments. It has been, and is still, a delight to pass on some of what I learned from Professor Van Andel to a generation of eager (in theory) science students. And I am so proud to be able to tell them that I was taught by the first person to see the tube worms, crabs and snails that make their homes there.

It is an irony that, on the day I learn of this great man's death it is also announced that Alvin is to receive an upgrade for the next 50-odd years of research.

There is an obituary from the University of Cambridge, and a longer one from Standford University, along with some delightful memories of his earlier years.

In geological terms, 87 years was no time at all.

Kiwi Fruit DNA

I haven't really talked much on here about the actual subjects I teach, so it's time to remedy this. Tuesday afternoons are good times for me to do practicals with my AS Biology students (their penultimate year of high school study), and I thought it would be good fun to do a DNA extraction.

The students used kiwi fruit, but it can be done with pretty much anything living (I did caution the students against blending up their little brothers and sisters). The main hazard was giving a bunch of teenagers kitchen knives, not least because the poor darlings are so inept at food preparation that it took them ages to cut the sodding kiwis. I had a student teacher with me and remarked to him that they were all going to starve at university if this was how they cut up food. He said "No, they'll survive okay on Pot Noodles"...


We largely followed the protocol from Practical Biology, and got some pretty cool results. The bubbles in the image above are trapped in the strands of DNA, and the rather margarita-coloured substance underneath is the pulverised salty-kiwi-and-washing-up-liquid goo.

Isn't science brilliant? That's DNA, that is! In front of our very eyes.

How To Medicate A Gecko

Jabba has pinworms. It's a hazard of feeding him crickets, as not all livefood suppliers ensure their crickets are parasite-free. He had a visit to the vet last week, and didn't disgrace himself as Dooya was wont to do, and is in rude health other than the worms and a little bit of junk in the trunk to shift.


The favoured treatment for pinworms is 0.2ml of Panacur once a day for three days. So this is how to go about giving meds to a 120g bruiser such as Jabba.

1. Assemble syringe and medicine.
   
2. Open vivarium and place hand in for gecko to crawl onto.
   
3. Remove escaping locust from arm.
   
4. Try to grab gecko as he sprints past hand to the warm hide.
   
5. Lift up warm hide to extract gecko.
   
6. Retrieve gecko from behind the cold hide.
   
7. Sit down on sofa with gecko on lap.
   
8. Take up medicine in syringe.
   
9. Retrieve gecko from between your shoulder blades.
   
10. Hold gecko gently but firmly in right hand.
    
11. Mop up urine from t-shirt.
    
12. Gently stroke gecko's mouth to encourage him to open it.
    
13. Gently stroke gecko's mouth to encourage him to let go of your finger.
    
14. Gently stroke gecko's mouth again.
    
15. Slide syringe with catheter into mouth.
    
16. Retrieve syringe from the other side of the living room and gecko from down the side of the sofa.
    
17. Hold gecko gently but firmly in right hand.
    
18. Mop up further urine all over jeans.
    
19. Gently stroke gecko's mouth to encourage him to open it.
    
20. Persuade spouse to slide syringe in.
    
21. Inject medication.
    
22. Gently stroke gecko's mouth to encourage him to let go of the catheter.
    
23. Retrieve gecko from underneath cushion.
    
24. Return gecko to vivarium.
    
25. Chase escapee locusts around living room.
    
26. Nurse wounds.

He's ace though. And currently sulking spectacularly, with the look of annoyance that only a medicated pet can give.

Things I Learned From My Students #9: Snow

The UK is currently the laughing stock of the best part of Europe and North America, as we've had some snow and ground to a halt. In fairness to us, snow like this is the sort of thing for which we're about as prepared as Toronto is for a plague of frogs, due to its rarity. On the other hand, you'd think if you got a plague of frogs three years running around about the time that plagues of frogs were most likely, that you might start planning for the increased chances of being plagued by frogs.

Anyway, London only just got the snow today, and it's not bad enough to close the college. So it was on with the hiking boots to brave the treacherous two-minute walk along the ungritted road to work. And on with a few more revelations.

1. It takes a special sort of teacher to leave the windows open in the biology lab over the weekend, rendering the internal climate positively Siberian (this was NOT me).
   
2. No matter how cold the students are, they are never cold enough to take you up on the offer to put a lab coat on as another layer.
   
3. Edexcel doesn't think it's worth teaching students about competitive and non-competitive inhibition anymore.
   
4. Despite nearly 30 years of public outreach and education on this matter, students still think that HIV came from people having sex with monkeys.
   
5. None of them had ever heard of a dental dam.
   
6. Yet one of them has a fleshlight called Mirabel.
   
7. They think that Coxsackieviruses are the best thing ever.
   
8. Until they hear about Cummingtonite, that is.
   
9. People who named towns in New England were well kinky.
   
10. You never want to spot a student googling for "reason for late period".
    
11. The fake foam rock stress toy I got from Blackwell Scientific a few years ago as a promo gift is more realistic than I had ever realised...
    
12. The little bugger who threw the snowball through the staffroom window (open 3") to hit my desk this morning should be automatically presented with an A* in mechanics as they have an absolute mastery of projectiles.

There's a very definite "inappropriate" theme to this one. I put it down to covering disease transmission in A2 biology, physiology of the endocrine system in BTEC and the presence of a large student union-run awareness campaign around World AIDS Day. It's just been condoms a-go-go all week.