Extinction

When it seemed that, without intervention, the Panamanian golden frog (Atelopus zeteki) would become extinct due to a chytrid fungus infection, conservation scientists removed as many of the remaining population as they could, to give the species the best chance of survival in a controlled, fungus-free environment.

Seeds of the world's smallest water lily (Nymphaea thermarum) were collected before the plant's habitat was destroyed forever, to preserve genetic diversity and grow new plants with a view to repopulating similar habitats in the future.

In both these cases, the organisms were saved from their environment before it killed them. It seems rather brutal to gather up all the surviving members of a species and take them away to a terrarium or greenhouse, leaving the ecosystem without a significant component. Some may think this is an interference too far.

These came to mind today, because several of my students from my previous workplace have come to enrol at my new college. I've done the calculations, and this does not leave a lot of students for A-levels at the old place. With declining numbers and support over the years for this qualification in this organisation, the localised extinction of A-levels is imminent. So my students, with my blessing, have moved to a nurturing and supportive habitat, and assured their survival.

At least that's what I keep telling myself when I worry that, in trying to do the best for the students, I have been the one to kill off the qualification I fought so hard to keep going at that place.

Things I Learned From My Students #12: New Year Exams

The first few weeks of term have been taken up with AS, and then A2 exams. I think my classes are now back to normal, or at least our rather unique definition of normal. This is what I've learnt so far this year.

1. I genuinely look five years younger than my actual age. Whether this is down to the blue hair, baggy jeans, slogan t-shirts, willingness to swear like a navvy with piles, or simply a decent combination of phenotypes, I do not know.
   
2. This makes me a TILF. Yes, I have officially been called a TILF.
   
3. I'm actually really chuffed at being referred to as a TILF.
   
4. Regardless of their feelings towards me, I still can't get my horny little students to submit their bloody coursework proposals.
   
5. Four drunken Australians are no match for a single pissed Scottish student, yet the roles are somewhat reversed if there are 15 of each and they're sober.
   
6. Beakers are an awesome vessel to use for doing shots, since they come in 25ml and 50ml versions.
   
7. If my colleagues knew half of what goes on in the Biology lab they'd be horrified.
   
8. I'm creating a generation of biological sciences students who expect their lecturers to bake flapjacks for them before each exam.
   
9. The promise of being taken for a meal at Nando's is quite an incentive to A2 students to get A*-B on their exam.
   
10. I must have been an awesome cub scout leader when I was younger.
    
11. There is an awful lot of hatred towards Hypnotoad, the lab frog.
    
12. Fortunately there are enough students who adore Hypnotoad and his baleful stares that he's safe from the dissecting dish.
    
13. Students really want to dissect more stuff.
    
14. Eyeballs are the exception, however.
    
15. Students can be bribed to do pretty much anything in return for pizza.
    
16. I've become one of those really sad old teachers who enjoys hanging out with her students.
    
17. My students assure me that's okay because they think I'm closer in age to them than I am to my colleagues.
    
18. Few things have elicited such a horrified reaction from my students than my revelation that I quite like the Black Veil Brides.
    
19. The University of Oxford doesn't know what it's missing.

Three Days In

This year, I think all my colleagues share my feeling that we all started on the back foot. There was so much to do before the students began classes that there was very little time for planning. So this week I've been playing catchup.

My timetable is up in the air a bit, but the best case scenario is taking on two HND groups and losing BTEC for the year. That would be nice - nothing but A-level, HND and Access.

I felt rusty starting up on Monday morning. More than previous years it was striking how much easier teaching is when you know your students. And unusually, I didn't see any of my previous students in any of my Monday classes, or at all until this afternoon. It was something of a relief to see the A2 class - I felt back on top of my game. It helps that I have lucked out again with the students in my A2 class. They even met Hypnotoad, and screamed like a bunch of big girls' blouses when he lunged for his food. And we were studying succession, which as you may imagine, is one of my favourite topics to teach.

(Incidentally, since I get a spike at this time of year from A2 students all over the country googling "succession" or "stages of succession" to do their homework, I recommend going to this website instead.)

Other things I am learning - there are many different ways of getting from the staffroom to the print room if you spot a student you really don't want to speak to near the main entrance to the building. Astonishingly, sometimes Level 2 BTEC groups take better to microscope work than AS classes. And no one brings lead pencils, colouring pencils, rulers or calculators to a biology class anymore.

Also, Paul and I have realised that we have pretty much kissed goodbye to our social lives until at least half-term. We're both working 10-12 hour days in the college, plus whatever we do at home. And weekends are back to one full day of planning and one full day to do every single thing that needs sorting round the house - business as usual. Perhaps the only surprise is that it doesn't bother us at all.

Retail Therapy

After yesterday, I needed some cheering up, and Jabba needed some food, so we went down to Ashford to TC Reptiles, purveyors of the finest locusts in town.

We'd missed out on the Kempton Park Reptile Expo a couple of weeks ago, as it was the hottest day of the year and we remembered it being oppressively hot and overcrowded the last time we visited. So I was on the lookout for some more creepy-crawlies for the lab. I had been advised that several students, teachers and lab technicians would not come near the lab if I bought a tarantula, so that was out.

Anyway, TC had some Pacman frogs, Ceratophrys ornata. And they're aggressive little bastards. The owner had his favourite, which was permanently furious, and could be lifted up by the food it had just bitten. We got the second most aggressive.


It doesn't have a name yet. I'm saving the honour of naming it for my incoming A2 class. Though Paul has been calling it Hypnotoad in the interim.

I plan to draft in "Hypnotoad" for informal detentions:

Me: "You, misbehaving student, come here and put your finger in the tank."
Frog: *chomp*
Me: "Now you stay here until Hypnotoad lets go."
Student: *whimper*