Congratulations Best Western!

Congratulations are due to Best Western Tower West Lodge in Gillette, Wyoming. Until last night, you had the honour of having provided me with the absolute goddamn worst margarita I have ever drunk. On my honeymoon, no less. You know how you can get some yellow highlighter pens with a clear reservoir so you can see the ink sloshing around? You know that slightly green colour it goes when it's a very thin layer? That's what colour the margaritas in Gillette were. Oh yes, and Paul got food poisoning in the restaurant, and the only entertainment on the television was Coyote Ugly (the reality TV show, not the film).

But I digress.

Last night, I had a margarita so foul that actually a couple of tequila slammers, sober, would have been a more pleasant experience. I suspect a shot of tabasco sauce would have been a more pleasant experience. The bar? The Slug And Lettuce in Kingston. What went into the cocktail? Between two of us, three shots of tequila, one shot of Cointreau, and perhaps one lime, in quarters, squeezed a bit. All served over sufficient crushed ice to make it effectively like drinking dilute tequila.

There is a reason that slammers and margaritas are served with lemon or lime. It's because the citrus complements the bitter taste of the tequila, making for a highly yummy drink that is more effective than any anti-depressant I have ever been on. We have a horrible feeling that this is just how Slug And Lettuce make margaritas, so as we had had a voucher for them (and didn't actually spend our own money), we just left them, along with a note scribbled on their Christmas menu flyer:

TOTALLY UNDRINKABLE
You know it's bad if I've reached that conclusion about God's Own Cocktail.

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones

You kind of expect to find bones in a cemetery. But not, as a general rule, just lying around on the ground. On Sunday, as the last stop on our field trip, we visited St Mary The Virgin in Brancaster. The object of the visit was to look at the wide variety of building stones, including local flint and imported stones filched from the Roman fort of Branodunum nearby.


The above photo is of the south chancel wall, which showed the best range of building stones. But on the ground, I noticed an odd-shaped stone in with the gravel, and when I picked it up it was pretty obviously the head of a tibia.


A fellow student thought it was too broad to be human, so we decided it was definitely mammal, and probably pig. Then I found a couple more bones, one of which seemed to contain the acetabulum of the pelvis. The other looked pretty randomly-shaped, and I wasn't sure what it was. A few more cancellate fragments were probably sections of pelvis.


And then I found a finger.

Well, a manual phalanx, to be precise. You can see it bang in the centre of the photo, with my sunnies for scale:


My guess would have been the first manual phalanx from whichever finger it was. The bone was about the same length as my II.1 phalanx (index finger), so it could have been female or a small male.

The grim realisation that this was definitely human helped with the identification of the randomly-shaped bone. That was part of the cranium, and I think probably the left temporal and occipital fragments, from behind the ear. The sutures were clear once we knew what it was.

What to do? It isn't unusual for bones to make their way to the surface after many years of burial, and I'd have thought that the proximity to the sea, coupled with an aquifer bedrock way below, could have caused localised flooding. I'm surprised not one groundsman had noticed. We came to the conclusion that the remains were too old for the police to be interested, and too young for archaeologists to be interested, so I left them on top of a large sarcophagus and figured it was the sexton's problem.

A google search has been no help in telling me what, if anything, we should have done. I suspect the church officials have found the bones and it is now their problem. But should we have called the police? Should we have notified a coroner? Am I a sick, sick puppy?

Wot Larks

I have returned from Norfolk, county of few surnames. What a brilliant weekend all round. I'm absolutely bloody knackered, but have come back with a few things to write about. But for now, just have a handful of photos of the area to let you know what we were dealing with.

This was Holkham bay. Holkham was the beach featured at the end of "Shakespeare In Love", and I think it was also the location for the All Saints video for "Pure Shores":


This is one of the tidal channels at Brancaster Staithe, at low tide. At high tide, even where I was standing was under water!


Some incredibly well-hung locals:


I was woken up by the dawn chorus at the next-door nature reserve, so stuck my head out of the window to take a photo of the village of Titchwell:


Ho for the salt marshes again:


This was a geoarchaeology and geomorphology field trip, to look at how mankind has shaped the landscape (and how the landscape has shaped mankind). The bedrock is Cretaceous chalk, which is chock-a-block full of flint nodules. A fact that was not lost on the Neolithic inhabitants of the area. More recently, the Romans built a fort, which was then cannibalised to build many of the local houses. The Enclosure Acts precipitated the mass exodus from the villages into larger towns and cities, and the eventual drive to reclaim the salt marshes and build sea walls and defences.

That's a very quick and dirty summary of what's happening (and no doubt there are more experienced geomorphologists who will tell me so!), but I'm still not quite there on the writing-serious-science front. There are a couple more things to talk about from a vertebrate point of view, and A Bigger Pot will have the botanical side of the weekend, but look out for a Cool Organism Thursday!

Getting In The Fieldtrip Spirit

I'm going on my first fieldtrip in five years tomorrow. Proper fieldtrip that is, not just me dragging Paul round some deserted outcrop in the name of enjoyment on holiday.

I expect to be wet and sandy by Sunday night. But I will have some funky photos I hope.

If There Is Any Justice In The World...

...Then the El Paso Chile 10056 Marg-a-rama 90-Watt 1-Gallon Frozen-Drink Maker will be made available for UK voltages. While I would be prepared to go to my car, fire up the engine and plug the Marg-a-rama into the cigarette lighter, it would be so much easier to be able to flick a switch in the comfort of my kitchen.


Please. You know it makes sense. The health of the Ethical Palaeontologist depends on it.

(Hat-tip to BUST Magazine for offering me this unattainable dream.)

Proposal: Bloggers' Breakfast At SVP

Right. There are a fair few of us going to SVP this year, and I'd like to improve on last year's official palaeoblogosphere photo (not least because ReBecca was otherwise engaged dressing up like Elizabeth Swann), with me (centre), Matt (right) and Neil (left):


I know Brian, Amanda, Zach and Scott are going. I assume Andy is also attending, and perhaps Sally, Bill and Sarah?

So this is really an open thread now, for any suggestions. Are you likely to be able to surface by 7am for breakfast? Would you prefer a lunch? Or shall we arrange to meet up before the Roundtable or Auction? Or, those of you who don't already have buddies to sit with for the Banquet, shall we arrange a table? We have to sign up while we're there. I'm quite happy to locate a table and sign up anyone who wants to sit with us, but I know most people return to their alma mater the way salmon return to the streams in which they were born...

You will also be able to meet the ethical husband (although I'm sure he would wish you to know that the chances of him being conscious for breakfast are slim to none...).

Take it away folks!

Large Hadron Collider

Can I just say how thrilled to bits I am? This is a momentous day for physics, nay, science itself, and I'm delighted that as I type, protons have completed their first circuit of the LHC. I understand very little about the physics of it, and really, if you think you're going to find out all about it here, you've come to the wrong place (try the CERN Podcast). I know vaguely what they're doing, and why they're doing it, and what I know makes sense. I could explain it to my friend's 12-year-old, but Paul could probably explain it better, because he absorbs and retains knowledge like a sponge.

But I'm even happier, because all day, this has been the top story. A science experiment is the top news on the BBC News and CNN. It has been the headline news on Radio 4, and I'm listening to an entire day of television programmes about science, including Man-Haters' Hour talking about women in science. I'll listen again to that.

I'm trying to think back to the last time a scientific discovery was top headline news. Obvious examples are the moon landings and the birth of the first test-tube baby. But that's it. Maybe someone with a better memory can remember, but I think this is a first in my lifetime. Will we get more children interested in science, especially physics, in school? Hope so. This has been very well executed PR-wise. There are no wild-haired "boffins" in white coats. The head presenter, Professor Brian Cox (remember, US, that "professor" is a much more exclusive title in the UK, reserved for particular honours), is a young, "cool" guy, who used to be in a pop group. See, scientists can have floppy haircuts and wear tight t-shirts.

(He's also a scientist who makes me feel woefully inadequate, since it seems doubtful if I'll even have my PhD by the time I'm his age, let alone a permanent job, a regular BBC gig and a professorship, but that's beside the point.)

The BBC has been ever so slightly mocking, as though all the presenters are sharing some kind of in-joke that the physicists are not party to, but it's a lot less mocking than their coverage usually is. On the whole, I'm happy. I've seen this capture the hearts and minds of the general public. It's being talked about everywhere - on BBC's Have Your Say (do ignore all the idiots saying it's too expensive and we could be curing cancer instead), and even The Gumtree (which is to reasoned intellectual debate what a wank mag is to an ingrown toenail).

And with that, I'm off to listen to a surprisingly large number of physicists-turned-comedians and really interested celebrities talk about the LHC. I just wish I could stop typing it as "Large Hardon Collider". I'm going to embarrass myself. Probably while doing my fortnightly slot for High Peak Radio.

Tech Tags: CERN Large Hadron Collider Brian Cox science communication Radio 4 science physics

School Careers Service

Every time I go to visit my parents, I'm presented with another box of crap memories to take home and store/file/dispose of. On the most recent occasion, one of the pieces of paper turned out to be the results of a careers profile, carried out on 22 March 1994, using the software Kudos. It was printed out on that weird sized dot-matrix printer paper, and is so faded now it was a little difficult to read, but I thought you'd be interested to see what the software recommended for me "in order of suitability".

1. Gamekeeper
   
2. Microbiologist (I'm lost without a notochord)
   
3. Forensic Scientist
   
4. Zoological Scientist
   
5. Countryside Ranger/Warden
   
6. Geochemist
   
7. Geologist
   
8. Pharmacologist
   
9. Geophysicist
   
10. Sports Scientist
    
11. Veterinary Surgeon
    
12. Biochemist
    
13. Analytical Chemist (you provide "ytical", I'll do the rest)
    
14. Quarry Manager
    
15. Geologist - Mining
    
16. Geologist - Engineering
    
17. Mining Engineer
    
18. Army Officer
    
19. Forester
    
20. Royal Marines Officer (yeah, I laughed too)
    
21. RAF Officer
    
22. Biologist
    
23. Diplomatic Service Officer
    
24. Marine Biologist
    
25. Ecologist
    
26. Osteopath
    
27. Botanist
    
28. Chiropractor
    
29. Astronomer
    
30. Gas Engineer (ummm...)

I suppose a lot of those skirt around palaeontology, but it was a shame the subject itself didn't feature. It was evidently just really unusual (more unusual than geochemistry?). Two years later, I had a careers interview with a dead loss of an advisor, whose only experience of science degrees was the fact that his son was a doctor. All us scientists came back to our classes bemused that we'd all been advised to pursue medicine of some sort. You like physics, right? Why not become a radiologist? Palaeontology, you say? That's dead things. Pathology for you!

I'd love to be able to take the test now, 14 years on, to see if a) the career options have widened in scope at all, and b) I still have the same sort of goals. I'd be interested to see where certain career options lie in relation to each other. I reckon the microbiology and chemistry options would be way down, botany and horticultural options would be up, and geology and ecology would be in the top 10. I'm interested to see that there must have been some kind of latent love of plants, just waiting for the right time, place and frame of mind to catch on as a genuine hobby.

So who among you still has their career guidance results? Care to share?

Tech Tags: Kudos Career Software careers advice palaeontology examining the past

Gratuitous Dead Bird Photos

So, here are the scenes of destruction as observed yesterday morning. Be warned, it gets a bit bloody, so you may want to not read further if you're squeamish.

This was what the lawn looked like after the attack. The ethical mother thinks it was more likely a sparrowhawk, not least as the pigeon had been decapitated.


It was already half-plucked for me, and somewhat disembowelled too (works for me as all I'm after is the skeleton - hope the sparrowhawk enjoyed the intestines!). If dead birds don't feature much in your day-to-day life, you can see the feet are on the right, the two remaining tail feathers are below it - essentially it's reclining on its left side.


And then - joy of joys! - I found the head at lunchtime. A complete skeleton could yet come of this...


Following on from the good advice given to me by commenters, I made up a hot water solution of BioTex in a bucket, and plonked the bird in (I should probably have dismembered it a bit more, but what the hell...). Five minutes of vigorous stirring ensued.


And then it was a question of preventing really dumb predators from coming after the carcass. So I've shoved an old metal bin on top of the bucket, and I sprayed all around with tabasco, in an effort to hide the stench of decomposition and washing powder. And I wrote on the bottom of the bin "SKELETONISATION IN PROGRESS, PLEASE LEAVE". Foxes can't read of course, but groundsmen and neighbours can. With any luck they'll have the sense to leave it alone.


If I'm feeling brave, I'll check on it today.

Tech Tags: Columba palumbus carcass skeletonisation dissection sick and wrong BioTex

A Big Shout Out

Callan at NOVA Geoblog needs your help. If you write a geoblog (and I'd certainly include palaeontology blogs within that), he'd love you to take a survey for him.

I've taken the survey, and it really does only take 5 minutes. I'm really interested to see the results of it, so I'll be checking back.

Tech Tags: survey NOVA GeoBlog geoblogosphere blogging

It Keeps Me Off The Streets

At some point last night, a wood pigeon (Columba palumbus) met a grisly end at the hands jaws of a cat or a fox. My initial survey of the scene suggests it's eaten the head, and not a lot else. There are feathers EVERYWHERE. It's amazing how far a pigeon can be spread.

Now, a normal person would scoop up the carcass and dispose of it in the bin, and be very glad that bin collection day is tomorrow.

But I'm not a normal person. Because I want to dissect it and skeletonise it. If my husband is reading this, don't worry honey, I'm going to do it all outside, so you're not going to come home to find the kitchen looking like something out of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" (oh but only if we'd cleared the basement enough for me to have a lab down there...).

So. Does anyone have any tips? Tesco don't sell dermestids. I remember boiling a carcass in a crock-pot with some chemical added to it, and I want to say it was sodium bicarbonate, or some other easily obtainable powder. Can anyone confirm? Google is not obliging at the moment.

Tech Tags: Columba palumbus carcass skeletonisation dissection sick and wrong