That Nagging Feeling

Yesterday, the work towards my PhD consisted of me going to campus and dropping my enrolment papers in the postbox for the Registry. I went to campus mainly because I am absolutely broke and don't get paid until tomorrow, and didn't even have a spare stamp. And at least I know my cheque got there.

But as I sat at my computer yesterday evening, and then cooked and ate dinner, and then watched trash television with my husband, I felt an old familiar wave of emotion come over me. The feeling that I should be working. Yes, the horrible guilt I used to feel when I dared to go home from the EPSc department at Wash U to cook something to eat and watch CSI or 24 (the only shows I regularly watched), that I didn't deserve to have time out for food and television (yet it was okay for my housemate to take time out for food and yoga, but that's another story).

I don't have a lot of experience of British grad students. It's probably been about five years since I was able to observe them. I don't remember seeing that many in the department after hours (and as an undergrad I spent a lot of time in the department after hours during the Easter term). But they still worked incredibly hard. And I suspect there is only one person who would say that a Wash U PhD is better than a Cambridge PhD, and he doesn't matter anymore. So there is no good reason why I should be feeling the guilt - I am allowed to watch television and go to the cinema. I should have been allowed to do so in the US, but I should be able to in the UK. And certainly at the moment, when I'm not actually fully enrolled!

So. Monday Then.

I got my enrolment papers through the post today. So there goes £500 of my money, but at least I won't have anything further to pay until October. It feels a little surreal. I remember the upheaval of starting at Wash U, and the sheer amount of paperwork shoved my way, classes and inductions to attend and social events for new students. I suspect I'm starting at precisely the wrong time, and most of these sorts of things will happen in October. In the absence of any formal guidelines yet, I expect e-mailing my supervisor to arrange a meeting is probably a good start.

I'm looking forward to belonging to an academic institution again. And I can't wait to get stuck into what will probably be a fairly comprehensive reading list. I just have to remember how to do research. And as well as the really massively big "starting my PhD" thing, it's the little bits like getting a student card (so I can finally bring myself to cut up my no-expiry-date Wash U card which has been oh so useful...), getting to have a university under my name at SVP rather than just "Isleworth, UK", hanging out with other students again, maybe having a beer on a Friday in the geology dept - how I have missed Happy Hour/Friday Beer/Liquidus!!

This is going to be very cool.

Just Call Me "ASBO" Anderson

I love the summer, because I can treat myself to Starbucks Frappuccinos. As Paul is at his writing group this evening I bought one on the way home. Now I'm pretty sure most of my readers have had a Frappuccino before - the coffee-milk-ice combination. It's almost impossible to drink without making some noise, and especially so if you're trying to avoid ending up with all the big bits of ice at the end because that involves regular stirring with the straw.

So a woman got on at Earls Court and sat down next to me. For no other reason than to more vividly illustrate the story, imagine a heavily-made-up, long-haired, long-dressed version of Woody Allen with laryngitis, but even more whiney and nasal. The gist of the conversation went as follows:

Her: Excuse me, you're making a lot of noise. I don't know if you're aware of this, or maybe you are.
Me: Yes I'm aware, I'm drinking my Frappuccino.
Her: Well you're invading my personal space. Will you stop it? It's really loud.
Me: (really not having time for this BS) Suck it up lady, this is the tube.
Her: But you're so rude. It's so noisy.
Me: This is public transport! It's always noisy!
Her: You're invading my space and ruining my journey. You've been sitting here for the past 20 minutes...
Me: I haven't been ON the tube 20 minutes, let alone since you got on!
Her: Well if your mind is so simple that you can keep count of how long you've been on here, rather than more intellectual matters, then whatever.
Me: (a very loud and very pointed *sslluuuuuuuuuurrpp*)
Her: At least when I open my mouth I have something intelligent to say.
Me: (spying her suitcase indicating she's off to Heathrow) Oh thank God you're going home then.
Her: I'm glad. I don't want to stay here in this country if you're here.
Bloke getting off train: You make as much noise as you like, you're not hurting anyone!!
Her: Simple minds...
Me: Would you like me to put on my iPod and go "tsh tsh tsh tsh" in your ear too?
Her: If you do I'll have you arrested.
Me: (bewildered) What on earth for?
Her: Invading my body.
Me: That's not even a criminal offence!
Her: Well - it should be!!

And with that, she got off the train at Hammersmith. So that was, what, 6 minutes of personal hell for her? I tell you, I have heard much louder things on the tube. I would LOVE to see a showdown between Ms Whiney and the Albanian folk singer who begs on the Circle Line - now that woman's voice could shatter the reinforced plastic windows.

But there you have it - I got shouted at for drinking a Frappuccino. I suspect it's no louder turning the pages of the average newspaper, or two commuters having a conversation across the aisle. While I'm certainly going to be avoiding weird-looking women with noise issues, the incident has given me a renewed love of my fellow London commuter. Really we're quite a tolerant lot. We deal with iPods up loud, body aromas that should be confined to the bathroom and over-crowding, but we just suck it up and deal, as I advised Ms Whiney. Most of the other commuters were with me on this one.

If I'd thought, I'd have recorded the whole conversation on my mobile because its full script would have made brilliant comedy. If I'd thought there were so many better arguments I could have had with her - I could have pointed out that in actual fact her voice was louder than my slurping and was probably disturbing the commuters more; I could have advised her to take a taxi to the airport rather than the tube if she couldn't take noise; I could have invited her to accompany me to the nearest station manager where she could complain about my behaviour directly - I'm willing to bet that station managers have better things to do with their time. But most of all I wish I had just said this to her:

Me: Lady - you're an idiot!!

Oh, Like Ross From "Friends"?

My workmate has just got back from lunch. When she got to the cafe, David Schwimmer (the actor, not the palaeontologist at GSU) was there, loudly complaining to anyone who'd listen that people were staring at him.

One day, I'm sure that man will be set upon by angry palaeontologists, who can take no more "Oh, like Ross from 'Friends'?" comments when they reveal their profession. That show (and that man) has done nothing for the image of my fellow scientists, and of course has perpetuated such myths as the palaeontology conference in the Bahamas (Since 2002, the SVP conferences have been in Norman OK, Denver CO, Mesa AZ and Ottawa ON, and this year's is in Austin TX - all nice locations but the Bahamas they ain't...).

The "Oh, like Ross from 'Friends'?" is a comment I'm used to now. That and "So was that because of 'Jurassic Park'?" I bet the other palaeontologists who read this can add a few. Oh, just thought of another - "That's like archaeology isn't it?". It's weird though - I'm sure Paul has, in his time as a lawyer, never had "Oh, like Will from 'Will And Grace'?", or "So was that because of 'A Few Good Men'?", or "That's like accountancy isn't it?". But then I suppose there are way more lawyers than palaeontologists, and unless you live in the Badlands of Montana, you're probably more likely to need a lawyer than a palaeontologist.

For the record, it was not because of "Jurassic Park", or like Ross from "Friends", and it's certainly not like archaeology. But it was because my dad bought me a little reddish-brown plastic Tyrannosaurus rex model from the Natural History Museum when I was three years old. Raaaaaarrr!

Climate Change Deniers And Creationists

Over recent years I have found arguments with both creationists and deniers of man-made climate change frustrating. I have found that typically both sets of people will take a piece of scientific evidence in favour of MMCC/evolution and through a wholly illogical train of thought end up with "scientific proof" that climate change doesn't exist or that Intelligent Design is a fact of life.

I know that my professional colleagues are just as frustrated by creationists' claims (the erroneous mindset is far more prevalent in the USA than in the UK), and many have reached the stage where they feel there is no point in arguing with them because creationists will not accept a logical scientific argument. How could they when they follow a literal interpretation of a book written 4,000 years ago in Aramaic, translated into Greek, translated into Latin and then translated into English, but refuse to entertain the possibility that something may have been lost in the translation?

But I digress. That is a debate for another day. On the tube one morning I was reading a few letters from fellow Londoners all objecting to green taxes, having to recycle etc etc. Sighing exasperatedly, I proclaimed to Paul (and probably most of the rearmost carriage on the Piccadilly Line) that "It's as bad as arguing with creationists!" "Honey," he replied. "It IS arguing with creationists."

And you know, he's got a point. If you believe that all the coal, oil and gas we're burning was laid down over no more than 6,000 years, rather than 300 million years, then effectively fossil fuels are a renewable source of energy. As we're only releasing 6,000 years of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere rather than millions of years' worth, then we can't be responsible for the increase in carbon dioxide, so we haven't caused any climate change, right? And if you believe the Earth is only 6,000 years old, then those sea level and oxygen isotope curves going back hundreds of thousands of years mean nothing to you. It's all an artefact. The last glacial period ended 10,000 years ago - 4,000 years before the Earth was created. So all the usual evidence for MMCC is lost on them.

And when 46% of Americans, the country most responsible for belching out carbon dioxide, the country most responsible for the state the world is in, the country that will not be happy until it has drained all the oil from its national parks in Alaska, are creationists, what chance in hell do scientists stand of being able to persuade the USA to do its bit? They're already fighting a losing battle over here.